Love Hate relationship with my body

In my dream days I weighed 165 and I thought I was fat I thought that the "fat" on my sides were to flabby. Boy was my view skewed. Do I wish I had that body? No! I have had two full term pregnancy's, one miscarriage, nursed two children and have depression eating habits that I have survived. Sounds like my body has been threw a war zone, I would call child labor a war zone.

After having Matthew I was at my peak of weight. Don't you love that you weighed 6 weeks after having your baby and the nurse gives you that look of why haven;t you lost the 50lbs you gained yet? What your not wearing your pre-baby pants yet? What is wrong with you? With Matthew I was up at 250lb. I knew once that baby was out of me it was my turn to get my body back.

The one thought that has helped me threw this and is still helping me is trying to be different then yesterday. Often I wake up dreading working out but I resolve by convincing myself just to work out 10 min, 15 min, just run 1 mile, just do something.

Well it has worked I lost 70lb. WOW that's a lot. ok ok 9.1 of that was Matthew.

I'm not back to my 165 and I don't think I ever will. I was that weight while working out 3-4 hours a day, 5 times a week and sometimes Saturday. But 175 is calling my name.

ps I am sucking it in and turning sideways.